About to Give Up? How to Find Love and Romance.

how to find love

Are you about ready to give up looking for romance? Here’s how to find love without looking.

What is it about looking for love that turns even a secure person’s insides into a wobbly bowl of Jello? Deep down we know love sits on the top of our must have list right next to shelter and food. Who really wants to live without it? We’re meant to love and be loved.

The kicker is we know love causes both pleasure and pain. By the time our fifties roll around, we’ve experienced the highs and lows love can bring. We’re not sure if we want to get back on the roller coaster are we? But hop on we must, because life lived without the chance to love and be loved isn’t worth getting up in the morning for. Cue love songs and ballads.

If you’re fifty plus, you can be forgiven for taking a slightly cynical view of love and romance. Chances are you’ve played the game of love and lost at least a few times. You’ve also discovered life lived alone isn’t intolerable and can in fact be damn comfortable.

At some point though your need for companionship and cuddles outweighs your mistrust in your fellow man. You miss the thrill of seeing his texts pop up or knowing you still got it by the look in his eyes.

I’ve written about how I gave up on internet dating and met my guy IRL a mere few weeks later. Is there something magical about not giving a damn if you meet someone? Does giving up produce a unique pheromone highly attractive to the opposite sex?

I think it does. The secret to how to find love when you’re ready to give up is to give up looking. Let love find you.

How to Find Love by Letting it Find You
  • Spend time with yourself and grow to enjoy your own company. Roll your eyes, but if you don’t genuinely enjoy your own company, chances are no one else will either! Think of it as the law of attraction. Like attracts like.
  • Make an effort with your style and look if you’ve let it slide. Plastic surgery isn’t necessary, but careful attention to things like eyebrows and skin can do wonders. It not only boosts your self esteem but it attracts. Men can’t help it, they’re visual.
  • Speaking of style. Is it time for a second look? Are you dressing purely for comfort or need? Perhaps you have a sharp eyed friend who may be able to help assess your wardrobe and hairstyle. Once again, men are extremely visual. Online profiles with nice photos get noticed.
  • Online dating can be exhausting and I suggest getting off when you reach the point of distrust. If you want love to find you online, be prepared with an eloquent profile and recent photo. Be yourself and be honest, because it’s exhausting to pretend to be anyone else.
  • Dating through apps is an opportunity to meet someone who may not otherwise cross your path. But it’s also full of people who haven’t quite gotten over their last love or fling. Be careful. Also don’t be that someone. Love can’t find you if your heart isn’t free.
  • Do things you really enjoy with complete joie de vivre. Whether it’s riding, knitting, paragliding or dancing; throw yourself into it with lust and abandon. Nothing is more attractive than someone who’s lit up by what they love doing.
  • Let go of past love or expectation. Easier said than done but really crucial. The energy we expend on a fixation with past love pushes new love energy away.
  • Be ready. I don’t mean sit by the phone (wow that never happens anymore but you know what I mean), but be ready to catch that look from across the room. Be ready to respond with a smile when someone interesting tries to start a conversation. Be receptive.
  • Value yourself enough to wait for what feels right, but don’t get hung up on perfect. Listen to what he says, but pay attention to what he does. He may see love before you do.

How to find love when you’re ready to give up? Be ready to let love find you.



After a long career in advertising and technology, I started an interior design business at the height of the crash. I’m passionate about being creative and helping others reinvent their life. I restarted mine at 50+ and have never been happier. How can I help you?

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