Don’t wait any longer. If you don’t make a difference in your life now, then when. When is the right time to have the life you deserve? I write a lot about making the most of your midlife because it’s an idea I care passionately about!
Once we hit fifty or sixty, life starts to look a little less infinite doesn’t it? I don’t say that with pessimism just realism. We can see our life is finite, with fewer decades left to do what we came here for. I can’t think of any more kick in the ass motivation than that. We’re running out of days to remake our lives full of fun and joy.
In my midlife restart course, I talk about the four pillars of rebooting your life. Rethinking your inner life, your look, your home and your love life can change your world. Simple stuff but why shouldn’t it be simple? It doesn’t have to be hard. The hard part is knowing where to start.
Changing your thoughts or your “inner” life is the beginning. Without changing your thought patterns, you can’t change anything. Nothing will shift. Nada. Zip.
The first thought in your head each morning should be “I’m ready”. That’s all you need to start with.
Grab a cheap notebook. I like the ones with spiral binding so you can fold them flat and write without wrestling with the pages.
Write down a list of your favorite passions or people. Allow your inner girl to come out. What did she always love to do? Don’t let the adult you drown her out. Just write it down.
Mine might look like this:
– listening to loud music
– being close to the sea
– spending time with my son
– dancing to loud music
– spending time in England
– reading more books
– planting and growing roses
You get the idea. It’s just a simple list of what floats your boat. What does your list look like? Write it out.
Once you remind yourself of those simple pleasures, you start making them a priority. That’s it. Easy.
The beauty of midlife is you know. You KNOW what you love! Think of it as an infallible guidance system to getting yourself back on track.
What we often do is ignore these simple pleasures. We think somehow because they’re so simple, they’ll just pop into our lives without too much thought or effort.
Or even more insidious is the idea we don’t deserve pleasure. Let’s nip that thought in the bud shall we?
What simple pleasure can you give attention to today? Allow yourself to imagine what it would feel like to wallow in it for hours without guilt or recriminations.
Let’s take reading a book for example. When was the last time you allowed yourself a nice long read on the couch during the day?
There are two kinds of fun things to wallow or revel in. One happens in our head, the second needs action. Both need attention. If you’re more of an inner person just be careful not to expect change to come about if it’s only an idea. You must at some point take action.
How to make the most of the rest of your life
- Don’t wait until tomorrow, or when you retire or until the youngest has left the nest.
- Shift your thoughts to positive expectation. “I’m ready” “I believe” “I can”
- Take each list item and visualize what it would look like now.
- Break down your list. For example, dancing to loud music is easy. Sign up for Pandora or dig out some disco and dance your pants off. In your living room if necessary.
- Take small steps first. Go to the library or order some books on Amazon if you’re a reader. Order some roses.
- For the bigger desires start with a small step. If like me, you want to spend more time in another country, you get online and plan when, how and how long. If that’s too big, then visualize what it will feel like first.
- Each time you take a step, no matter how small, reward yourself. Not with a bucket of ice cream but something related to your goal. Travel lust? Rent a foreign movie or better yet head to the cinema.
Keep taking small steps and visualizing how awesome your mid life is becoming. Be ready with a positive state of expectation and believe you can do this. Ask for help from trusted sources; (the ones that won’t try to crush your dreams).
Be ready to step out of your comfort zone and take the first step. I know it’s tricky. We are wired to help others first. But this isn’t a pressurized cabin in the sky. We can help ourselves first, in fact we must. We must hold ourselves accountable to change. We deserve to have the best_ life_ever.
Making the most of the rest of your life starts with acknowledging what makes you happy and taking action on it.
Don’t make the mistake of waiting until tomorrow honey pie. They’re not making any more time; you can’t buy it at the superstore. Restarting your life isn’t going to get any easier if you wait another year or two or five. Today is all you have. Let’s be accountable to one another. We can do this.
Believe you are awesome and deserve this wonderful life.